It's interesting because just earlier that day, I had decided that I was willing to give up being home for all the fun things and that I would accept the offer, if there was one. But the Lord and I have an understanding. I make a decision and then I let Him tell me, in whatever way He needs to, if my decision is right or wrong. And this is was one of the most powerful feelings of "you're going the wrong way" I have ever felt. I will admit that it took me a few days of wrestling until my mind accepted that answer, but ever since then I haven't looked back.
Am I sad? In a way yes. I know that if I were to go, it would be an amazing adventure and I would love it all. But I know something now that I didn't know two years ago when I went to Disney. There is a difference between living the standards of the church and loving the standards. At Disney I found out that I can live the standards of the church in any circumstance I may find myself, but I can't have the Spirit with me in those circumstances. While I was there I didn't do anything that would make me lose my temple recommend, but there were many things that made me lose the Spirit. And I'm not willing to live like that again. In the two years since then, I have learned so much about the Spirit and the need I have to always have the Spirit with me, that the thought of going a summer without being able to attend church and be apart of a ward quite literally scares me. I can't do that again.
I know that some of you are surprised by my decision. And I can understand that, I was surprised as well. I don't expect you to understand or accept my decision. All I ask is that you respect it because it is MY decision. I love you all and I am really excited to see what the Lord has in store for me this summer here in Cedar.
8 comments:
MOOOOOOOOSE!!!!! Whew... Now that I've got that out of my system... There was a time when I was about your age that I turned down a semester in France. It would've been a lot of fun, and I'd speak French, but I'd say (in English, cause I don't speak French) that things have turned out reasonably well anyway. We'll have to see how Lizzie turns out before any final judgment calls =). At least your summer will be warm!
Wow, Katie. Good for you, for being in tune enough to have the spirit there, giving you guidance. And good for you, to embrace that guidance with all of your heart and to go in the direction you need to be headed in. I'm sure your summer in Cedar will be fabulous, because it's where you know you're supposed to be.
Alrighty then...maybe a visit to Kanosh during the summer would be in order; what do you think?
On a more serious note: I'm impressed. Not enough of us listen to the spirit and then do what it tells us to do. Can't wait to see what happens next in your life (but I guess it will be happening right here in downtown Cedar City).
Thanks for sharing that with us Katie. That understanding you have with the Lord, and understanding why that's important is way more spirituality than most people achieve in this life. Thanks for blogging too, I like your blog.
That probably means that you are going to fall in love this summer and get married :) Way to make a decision, stick with it, and feel good about it. That's awesome.
3 weeks ago I wouldn't have understood this like I do now. I'm proud of you. --Dad
I love watching my children grow up and seeing the decisions they make (and why they make them)! I know that you would have had awesome experiences in Alaska, so now you will just have to have stupendous experiences in Cedar and elsewhere instead :-).
Love you TONS.
Okay, I just found this site from Laurie's long list--I was totally intrugued by the penguin thing. And then to find out it's a long lost cousin (on my side of the family it's just like a long, lost cousin) who has a fun blog and taught me wonderful things about the spirit. And then to read fun comments from other long, lost cousins (not Laurie) and aunts, how fun is that! I hope you don't mind if I check in every now and then and the Gardners. Good luck with your summer.
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