Why I need a man

There is a teacher at Institute that bugs me. He teaches Marriage Prep and the few times I've gone to his class I leave frustrated with how he teaches and some of the things that he said. I'm just not a fan. In a couple classes he said that women no longer need men. The first time he said that, I immediately got out a piece of paper and wrote down as many things that I could think of that I need a man for. I had a pretty good list going by the time class was done.

A few weeks ago I ended up in his class on accident. We were talking about myths/misconceptions that persist around marriage. It was interesting and a good thing to talk about, but yet again he said that women don't need men. I take offense when he says that. It bugs me like no other. Mostly because he always couples it with women can provide for themselves, therefore men are irrelevant. I know of no man that is irrelevant in my life.

I will admit that he is right, to some degree. I don't need a man to bring home the bacon. But that doesn't mean I don't want one to do just that. It would be wonderful to not have that burden on my shoulders anymore. I simply want to be a stay at home mom - that burden I will gladly and willingly accept.

What bothers me the most about it is that I look at my life and I can see just where a man should be. The last year of my life was hell. I moved to Provo to watch my sister’s 5 kids while she dealt with her husband having a terminal brain tumor. The one thing I desperately needed this year was a man. Someone to be there to hold me in the night when I could no longer ignore reality. Someone to give me a reason to fight to live happily. Someone to show me the good things of life again. I wanted and needed a man, but I didn’t get that desire. Instead I fought to stay positive on my own, strived to see the joy in life alone, and cried many tears to my pillow, instead of to my comfort and support. I might not need a man to provide money for me, but I do need him to provide so much more than that.