There have been so many things happening lately that I don't really even know how I'm coping with it all. Things have just been thrown at me and I am trying to catch them all, but it doesn't always work out too well. I am one semester away from graduating college and as such, I get bombarded with the question "What's next?". Too bad I have no idea! Up until now I had some kind of plan, but now that's looking less and less like the right option. Instead a new, completely unexpected course has popped up and if I take them up on the offer (and surprising even myself, I'm almost seriously considering it!) it would mean taking a big leap of faith that we wouldn't end up killing each other (or the kids) by the end of it, that where they move to is really a good place for me to go, that I will be able to find a job there in the field that I want (cuz trust me, I'm getting a job once they're settled, part time at first. I love the kids and all, but I didn't go to school for five years just to be a nanny and I'm gonna want an escape at some point, I've learned that one enough over the years), that there will actually be a social life for me that gives me what I need and want... I could go on and on about all the "if's" and "what about's", I've thought of many! But I won't, cuz you don't want to hear about them, they're only interesting to me, the one they impact. I will tell you that interestingly enough, taking that big leap of faith sounds oddly fascinating and exciting. It's been a while since I've done something like that (2007 to be exact, when I flew across the country to work for the Mouse) and just jumped with no real planning at all. I still have time to think it over and that just might be my biggest problem. It's hard to just jump, when first you have to wait 4 months to finish college.
